Words as actions.

I'll be brief.

I revelated (heh, yeah I think I just made that word up) something, 9 days ago.  I was sitting in the bottom room of Larry Gibbs' house, among the many furnitures and in the quiet aftermath of hours of soaking music.  I had asked for him if it was okay for us to spend some time in quiet.  And so: quiet time, we spent.

...See I had come that night with something a bit off.  You know that "off" feeling I'm talking about.  It can be unforgiveness, an idol you've allowed in your life, or simply not abiding in God when he has wanted you to.

So I lay down and waited, with a heart - stance of

"PLEADING/crying out that you move/touch me oh God/I'm desperate to be in the midst of your presence/
I hunger for You!" 

I don't know how long it was that I had been in a waiting stance that night (up until the point of asking for quiet)...but probably 3 minutes into the quiet of that room, I heard God speak into my mind. "Go home fulfilled"

Now, this is the moment I want to focus on.  Because God had spoken the words saying what I should be, but AT THE SAME TIME, made me what I should be. I became fulfilled.  And thus I realized that inherent in God's speaking of promises/commands is the actual work of what the promise/command declares.

He does both at once!  The provision for the working out of what he has promised christians is GIVEN and set out in the moment that the promise is spoken.  (sidenote: I realize God is eternal and this description doesn't work well with theological thoughts of God/time/when but you'll have to give me grace for that :)

*Now that's multitasking!*

SO! If we are to run with this thought, this TRUTH about God, I can say that when God has promised me a future of speaking to the nations about his Gospel, He has made the way for that.  given me everything I need for that.  mental struggles of my ability, preparedness, choices, timing, etc need to be CEASED and silenced...
I am ready. You are ready.  We have been made ready for each "mission" and "leading" of God in our lives, by his very word of telling us to do it.

When God tells me that I need only speak what is in my heart during a message in front of 75 teenagers at a youth winter retreat in 14 days, He is saying that He has chosen me for that.  He has prepared me for that. And all the details (so-to-speak) have been seen to. completed. finished.
hmmmm.
something to think about.
or better yet, to agree upon, and walk in.



Okay, so I lied.  I wasn't quite "brief" hahaha, but I'm sure you're all the better because of it.

Oh, and I almost forgot.  The best part of the night was the 45 minutes that followed that revelation with joyful thanksgiving flowing from my heart.  It's so cool to me that God blesses us by making the act of blessing Him so euphoric, and satisfying to our souls.

What I've learned

Nehemiah made confession for his whole nation/people. God blessed him and used him to lead his people back into right relationship.
Can I do the same for my people?

For some, we have to be different to become what we're meant to be.
It's lonely sometimes, but it's fulfilling, always.

Hard things must be done.
The outcome makes it worth it.

Spiritual Health is something to be maintained.
Continually resisting evil is necessary.


Yesterday I got my hair cut into a mohawk by a silly Filipino woman.
I went to Wal-mart, bought two boxes of hairdye.
I went home and spent the next 2 hours-ish changing the color of my mohawk to fiery orange with red tips.
Friends, family and pets have been doing double-takes ever since. They don't recognize me at first. The dogs bark and the people exclaim.
I want my heart to be a spiritual fiery-colored mohawk. Blatantly open in it's statement of faith: "I am bold. I am strong. I am confident. And I burnnnnn with purpose."

At Least It's Not Raining Butter.

This isn't a story about the brighter side of things, or greener grass.
I see green grass all the time in Washington state. (Though brightness isn't something to be expected in the winter here...)

It's frustrating to do hard things.

Talking to lost, misfit people is like trying to catch a frisbee with oven-mitts on.
But nonetheless, talk I do. Because it's the lost ones that I want to engage.---the ones who fit into society as well as a square peg in a round nostril. Even if they somehow wedge themselves in, it's super uncomfortable for the nose!

The posers deserve my attention. my valid conversation. my honest heart.
The overlooked and ashamed, that's who I'm hoping to get to know.
The embroiled and the blind need my compassion.
The idiots too. They need patient understanding from me. As hard as it is for me to say, those "idiots" who I can't help but rage at, within my heart, they need what I've been given.

I'm not doing a great job by my own standards, yet.
I'm just telling you what I see on the horizen.
I am called to be a Shepherd of God's people. And that means I leave the 99...


hmm.
...I wonder what that feels like.